Emotions are changing

Up until about 3 days ago I was facing this thing with strength and power. I have been trained by my mentor, Mr. Jay Noland, to be a warrior. Persistent and unemotional. Take what ever comes my way and crush it. But I starting falling apart a few days ago. I started to feel like I was going to be left behind. I have been listening to people talk about their experience with chemo and I got pushed down. I became afraid!

Then 2 things happened to me today. #1 At Mass this morning Fr. Paul’s homily was (or my take away) I have been called to a mission by a higher power. I need to figure out what the calling is and what my mission is in this journey. In my life. I have to call on the Grace He freely offers us daily. Not just when I feel defeated but everyday. Then I have to trust in that Grace. I have to praise Him in all things. How can I go out and spread the message, the Good News, if I don’t know the Messenger? Jesus sent His apostles out in pairs and said go spread the Good News. If you are invited in to dine then stay there. If you are turned away, shake the dirt from that house from your sandals and move on. Surround yourself with like minded people. Build your circle of support from those you trust. The people who will stand by you!

#2 Tonight the CEO of my coffee company held a private Facebook live training. I really think it was more of a sharing. He said that there are things in life that change you. Defining moments. Times that you can look back and say, that changed me. He spoke of the day his wife told him they were expecting a child. He said he ran out the door and just ran for JOY. I’ve had those moments in my life too. Several. When my kids were born, then my marriage to my husband. The birth of my grandchildren. And I’m even going to say that this diagnosis, this journey has been a defining moment for me. When I look back at the way things have played out…the way the pieces of this crazy puzzle have been moved and turned and have come together, I truly have been blessed. Terry and are closer than we’ve been in years. My son Rylee has become more responsible (for the most part)! Not to mention the way things fell into place for moving my dad. I have met some wonderful people. I’ve grown as a person. NO, I’m not glad I have cancer but I’m not going to go hide in a cave either. Tonight Jay told me I’m awesome! I’m a warrior! I can do anything I set my mind to do. I know I will have some bad days and during those days I will praise Him in the storm! But when I’m feeling good I will not be stopped. I will fight and I will win this battle because I have people on my side who want me to stay. So I’m going to kick cancers ass and stay!

Be blessed,

Diana

#standbyme