I didn’t feel real good this morning but after laying in bed for 2 days I decided it was time to try to go back amoung the living. I stopped at Chick Fil A (yes we like this restaurant and they use non GMOed chickens) for a couple of scrambled eggs and an OJ. After not eating much for the last 2 days, I was hangry! I got to work and ate a few bites of my eggs but they just weren’t tasting very good. I could have downed a gallon of the OJ though. I don’t drink juice much. Too much added sugar but that hit the spot. I almost left to go get more.
By about 11:15, I was feeling sick again so I pulled out my 2 nausea meds to see which one I should take. Let’s see…1 could cause dizziness and the other could cause headache. Side effects from the medicine I’m taking for the sides effects of chemo. I decided to go with the one that could cause headache because I take take something for a headache. Being dizzy makes me throw up. Have you noticed the chain of events here. I have chemo which makes me sick so I take something for nausea which gives me a headache so then I have to take something for a headache. I’m telling you it’s a racket! The FDA will never release the cure for cancer because PHARMACEUTICAL companies depend on people like me to stay in business!
My first lease came in at 11:45 and we finished by just after noon. I had to go do a lock check and police the area but I really wasn’t feeling much better. No headache but still feeling sick. So I went to the bank instead. I came back and did a few little things around the office and it was about 1:30 when I realized I felt better. So off in my golf cart I went to do a lock check. By 2 I was back in the office with a wet towel on my neck, the door locked and a fan blowing in my face. Nosedive! Rylee sent his little pillow with me this morning so I clocked out, set my alarm for 30 minutes and I was out like a light and drooling when my alarm went off 30 minutes later. Oh…and the headache had arrived. For the rest of the day I sat with my head down and just kept my eyes closed as much as possible. I had phone calls and one person came in because he couldn’t get in the gate but other than that things were quite. 6 o’clock took its time but finally arrived and I was ready to go home. Unfortunately I had a couple of stops to make but was actually feeling just tired and not sick.
As I sit here tonight I realize life as I knew it will be different for a while. I think if I would have given myself another day in bed then tomorrow would be even worse than today was. I just have to get out and do a little bit at a time and rest when I need too. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention, Melanie came by to bring me some ginger ale and because her husbands had the flu I couldn’t hug and kiss her like I normally would have. I thought she was just going to drop it at the front door and let me know it was out there so when she peeked around the corner I got really emotional. I feel like I’m a monster with some crazy plaque or something. I can’t hug my daughter, I can’t see my granddaughters (because their dads have been sick) shoot I can’t even kiss my husband right now. He’s been eating pineapple and got one of those sores on his lip. Right now when I need love and affection more than ever before…I can’t have it. If it wasn’t for Rylee and my puppies, I’d really be a mess!
So enough now. I need to get to bed so I can go back to work tomorrow for what I pray will be a better day.